“How much money do you make?”
Most of us deflect. It is a reasonable instinct, but deflecting teaches something too: that money is the one subject we do not discuss, which is exactly the belief that leaves people unable to ask questions about their own finances later.
Why they are asking
Almost never for the reason you fear. Children this age are building a model of how the world works, and they have noticed that money appears from somewhere and everyone is vague about where. Some have heard a figure at school and want to know where your family sits. Some are worried, having overheard something.
Working out which it is matters more than the number. “What made you think about that?” is a fair question and often reveals the real one underneath.
You do not have to give a figure
Honesty is not the same as full disclosure. A nine-year-old with your exact salary has information they cannot contextualise and may well repeat at school. You can be completely truthful without that.
“Enough that we’re okay, and I’m careful with it. Some months are easier than others.”
That is honest, it is reassuring, and it opens a door rather than closing one. If they push — and they often do — it is fine to say that the exact number is private, in the same way their diary is, while making clear the topic itself is not off limits.
Give them something real instead
The useful conversation is not about your salary. It is about how earning works at all. Children are genuinely interested in this and rarely told any of it.
Talk about the shape rather than the size: that money arrives monthly and has to last; that a chunk goes before you see it, for tax and pension; that rent or mortgage comes out first and is not optional; that what is left is what there is to decide about.
“I get paid once a month. Before I even see it, some goes to tax. Then rent, then bills, then food. What’s left is what we choose about — that’s the bit we’re saving from.”
That single sentence contains more financial education than most children get in a school year.
If money is genuinely tight
Be honest, but keep the responsibility where it belongs. Children who sense worry and get no explanation tend to invent a worse one, and some quietly decide it is their job to fix it.
“Things are a bit tight at the moment, so we’re being careful. It’s not your job to worry about it — that’s mine, and I’m handling it.” Truthful, and it hands the weight back to the adult.
The one thing to avoid
“That’s none of your business.” It is the natural reply, and it teaches that money questions are rude — which is precisely the reflex that stops adults asking about a pension, querying a fee, or admitting they do not understand something before signing it.
You do not owe them the number. You do owe them the sense that asking was reasonable.